Comexim Review: Pin Up Bikini Top

HOW LONG IT HAS BEEN, MY FRIENDS. Rest assured. Today, we will examine the long-anticipated Comexim bikini top—the Pin Up. I was very excited about receiving this number because I never had a bikini top in my size. I decided to order a 65H because it would not be worn often, seeing as I scorn the sunlight and swimming, so the band would not be stretched often and would simply be more comfortable.

A quick rehash: this came from the same order as all of the Comexims that were too small. Therefore, reduced cup height, reduced gore, straps moved in, yadda yadda ya. Let me fill you in on the shock of the century:

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Yeah girl it don’t fit.

Okay, you’re not surprised, obviously. I was, because it was the first thing I tried on out of the order, and I was like “hmm maybe I’m period boobing”. But, as it turns out, this batch of Comexims is just damn small. That’s right, folks—can’t blame the ole titties for these shenanigans. It’s just that this was a hella small batch. In fact, I ended up selling all of that batch, except for the Free Time and this bikini top because I’ve been too disheartened by it to write a review or do measurements on the thing. Anyway. Today is the day to change my ways and let’s get right back on the horse.

Not bad from the front, but you can actually see Titties: the Side Escape in the making.

Not bad from the front, but you can actually see Titties: the Side Escape in the making.

Let’s observe her, first. She’s cute. Black and white. Matches most things and bikini bottoms! That’s why I chose this one. I am very into matching my undies and undies-like garments. Plus, I don’t want to wear a swimwear set that really obviously doesn’t work together. This girl’s got a little self respect.

What in the hell is this bow about? Why does it look like this? It looks like a rectangle folded into a loop that just got stitched on. This is the only part of the construction that I really don't like.

What in the hell is this bow about? Why does it look like this? It looks like a rectangle folded into a loop that just got stitched on. This is the only part of the construction that I really don’t like.

Anyway…

What’s the main issue, you ask? DOESN’T DAMN WELL FIT. I’m actually NOT contained in the sides, for once. Boob is coming OUT around there. Of course, that means happy armpits, but this is no good. Even when I don’t swoop and scoop, it’s all coming out. Obviously, I’m coming out from the tops of the cups themselves, too, so it seems like this is closer to a small 60H than a 60HH.

:'( Get back inside the cups ladies there's gonna be a storm and mama cares about you!

😥 Get back inside the cups ladies there’s gonna be a storm and mama cares about you!

Grrrr. GRRR.

Fine. Let’s rate her. I’m still so disappointed with how poorly this fit.

One for the road. Working that buttcrack cleavage for y'all.

One for the road. Working that buttcrack cleavage for y’all.

Appearance of [bikini top] itself (9/10)—Great aesthetic. One point off for the center bow. I’m not understanding it. It looks unfinished?

Appearance of [bikini top] on my body (6/10)—Baby these titties are breaking FREE and that is no good. They’re escaping left, right, up, center, blagh!

Comfort of…

Straps (10/10)—Great distance between the straps. Happy armpits.

Band (10/10)—Surprisingly comfortable band. The closure is metal and clips together. No rows of hooks here – just that little clip. The actual material is very soft and comfy.

Gore (9/10)—Comfortable, non-tacking.

Underwire (8/10)—TOO NARROW. I’m amazed to say that.

Cups (8/10)—Immense quad all over my life.

Overall rating, then? The Comexim Pin Up (65H) gets…

86% – Technically passing. Comfortable. But damn quad and too small.

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