Lingerie Review: L’Agent by Agent Provocateur’s Danita (32E)

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My lovely friends, I come with a review. It seems that my past entries have all been about AP to some extent, but, well, that is how I am as a lingerie consumer. I get locked on a brand, I try everything possible, and move on to the next. The few brands that I keep returning to are a small number, but that is because I have some odd fit needs that others probably don’t need… (AKA, armpits must be safe from cups, AKA, my problem in 99% of bras.)

Thus we find ourselves with Danita. The first time I saw the Danita, I had a few prevailing thoughts. 1) The straps are amazing and I love the thickness. 2) The straps are not fully adjustable… 3) This is not going to fit me. 4) Guess I’ll try it!

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See that tiny nip slip? This is just a nip slip machine. I had to position my boobs pretty precisely to get most of the nip out of any shots.

I snatched the Danita off eBay and, well, I have to say that my intuition was right. Off the rack, it does not fit. The straps are way too long. The adjustable section is extremely small. As a person who really, really needs short straps, I sort of walked right into that being an issue. I’m really stubborn, though, as you’ll see.

You might notice that something is off about these straps. Maybe you don’t. In any case, I altered them (without snipping anything off). Without this alteration, this bra was basically just a platform where my nipples were just out. As someone with extremely “short” boobs, I was genuinely surprised that this was so low coverage on me. I did not expect it to be a full coverage bra, no, but I generally find half cups a little tall because my breast tissue is extremely concentrated in one area.

Even with this alteration, the nips are still eager to see the town.

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I’m pulling up the straps to show you where I would like them to be.

Additionally, this bra would benefit by having the straps moved closer to the center (instead of the sides). This is not particularly surprising to me because when I looked at it, I already knew this would be a problem. Why do I like things that are not designed for me??? I guess we like what we can’t have. Now, I’m going to be scouring the internet for a tailor who would be comfortable working on this bra, as I can’t return it and I still like it. I now have more red bras than one would expect in a wardrobe.

On the whole, the Danita  is not intended for my shape. It is very shallow at the bottom, which you can see real clearly in the yellow background picture (check out those wrinkles). However, Danita gapes like crazy on the sides and top. This creates a strange fit conundrum for me, as it is low enough to reveal the nipples but it high enough that I can’t fill it in. I attribute this to the particular shape of the cup, which is irregular. I sort of think it’s supposed to show off your nipples, honestly, because I have never had a nip slip in a bra before this due to how short my boobs are. I think someone with less concentrated tissue would not be able to escape this slippage.

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Y’all have no idea how many times I tried taking this exact picture without my nipples being completely visible. However, it’s a really lovely color and it creates a really interesting profile.

In the plot twist of the week, I wish I had ordered this in a smaller size. I think this would have made the cups narrower and would have lessened my discomfort in the pits. You can see how close this is to my armpits above, and I’m holding my arms BACK in that picture. It wasn’t made for me, guys. It really wasn’t.

Overall, the Danita is really gorgeous. I love the color. I love the satin. I love the overall design. I don’t love how shallow this is – there isn’t much immediate projection to write home about – and I don’t love these really uncooperative straps. I’ve never seen such a short adjustable area! I don’t like that it’s pretty uncomfortable, too. But this is not because the bra is badly made – it’s because it isn’t compatible with my shape. It’s like trying to jam a CD in your USB drive. It just ain’t gonna work.

If I had to take a guess, I would say the Danita is meant for shallow, FOT shapes (because there is a lot of space at the top of the cup, and really not much at all at the bottom). For those of us who like a long strap and rarely need to tighten their straps, it’s perfect. For people who never experience armpit chafing, it’s also a hit. Because I don’t quite fit in any of those categories, it’s not really a hit, but I think it’s a beautiful bra and I see real potential in the kind of shaping it would provide for others.

Let’s rate Danita, then.

Appearance of bra itself (10/10)—This is a well made, interesting bra. The satin is a fabulous color. The straps are so cool. This is a handsome bra.

Appearance of bra on my body (6/10)—This isn’t so good, honestly, because of all the ways the bra and I are incompatible. The shaping it gives looks almost like it could be great, but it just doesn’t quite work. The band is also riding up in the back, which you can’t really see in this review, but I get really miffed by rising bands.

Comfort of…

Straps (4/10)—These straps are wide – really wide – and not very adjustable at all. The adjustable area doesn’t stay put, even when you tighten them all the way. I get major armpit chafing and it makes this really uncomfortable to wear for me. I do not recommend this at all for very small frames unless you’re comfortable altering it or bringing it to a tailor.

Band (7/10)—I haven’t measured this band yet, but it rides up a lot more than I would expect. It definitely feels tighter than the Lolitta, which is almost a 34 band despite its label, yet the Lolitta did not ride up at all. I will say that it has side boning, which I really appreciate.

Gore (6/10)—This is a pretty tall gore for me, but I’m pleased because the gore isn’t wide. It’s comparable to a Cleo Marcie or Lily in terms of width. Due to the shape of the cups and straps, narrowing the gore is a bad idea – it would tilt the bra enough that the only choice for your nipples is escape/exposure. This doesn’t completely tack on me, also.

Underwire (7/10)—I find these wires really long, which isn’t surprising, as I find the gore too tall. I really notice these wires on my body because they’re pretty much just on my ribs. They also hate the sides of my boobs and armpits. I do not recommend this bra if you are sensitive to these things and encounter these fit problems often.

Cups (8/10)—Alright, the lining of the cups is really amazing. Like really soft. And the padding used is really pleasant while feeling light. The satin is really nice and I appreciate the cups for that, however, because of the unusual shape/cut, I will always be thinking where are my nipples? out? when I wear this. This leads to it being a little less comfortable than I’d like, as I am more aware of this bra than I’d be aware of, say, a Cleo Marcie.

What did Danita get? The L’Agent by Agent Provocateur Danita (32E) gets…

69% – I mean, when you think about it, it shouldn’t pass.

Have you tried the Danita? What was your experience?

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3 thoughts on “Lingerie Review: L’Agent by Agent Provocateur’s Danita (32E)

  1. I’m super glad you’re reviewing all these lovely AP/L’Agent styles I’m never brave enough to try, and can never find in a workable size anyways! They’re quite lovely. This color is great on your skin!

    Like

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