Cleo Review: Marcie (yellow) in 28FF

One of my all time favorite bras is the Marcie. I have three Marcies—well, okay, now I have four Marcies. I received a 28FF through the wonderful braswap reddit and decided that this bra is kinda painful in a 28FF. I wore the bra for about three hours before I caved in and unhooked the back. Instant relief. I made a small noise of complete glee that startled my partner.

Comparing the 32E and the 28FF shows me a few things (note that both are in the yellow colorway)—my 32E is lower-cut around the armpits and is just less wide. The 28FF has wider cups that go way up in my armpit, and the underwires are really painful for me. This is a sad affair. The 28FF also does not give me that wonderful half-a-basketball shape that I so desire that the 32E gives me. What to do? I don’t know. Perhaps I’ll sell it. For now, I’ll stare at it and try to will it into working better. It’s just frustrating because the underwires are off in armpit land, where they don’t even have a visa, and they’re trying to contain my imaginary armpit boob. There will never be boob there, you foolish bra.


I will note that the in-cup quadding is totally gone in the 28FF, but the smaller side actually does wrinkle. The bottoms are also not filled properly. When I yank the underwires up to fit in the IMF, the sides of the bra chafe my innocent armpits and make it uncomfortable. I can’t wear this bra and I’m very saddened by it for that. I might have to get a 30F instead.

Rest assured, folks—I already ordered a 30F in the pink colorway, which is my favorite Marcie and was also my second bra that fit. Knowing that the band is tight or something like that I learned off the internet some time ago, this might be a better match. Plus, well, I love the pink Marcie. It’s my favorite pink bra with my favorite booby shape.

I digress. We’re talking about how the 28FF betrayed my trust. Let’s get into that.

Wrinkle city in one titty.

Wrinkle city in one titty.

The actual shaping is fine. Everything is lifted. The profile is very nice. It just wrinkles at the top on my smaller side, wrinkles at the bottom of the cup, and bites my armpits with its vicious yellow teeth.

Rounded as shit in the tit! Compare the projection to 60HH Coco.

Rounded as shit in the tit! Compare the projection to 60HH Coco.

The more I try on bras, the more I wish a size 29 existed, because that would be perfect… I’d be a 29F(+half another F), like, a 29F.5. But alas, that day will not come for me. I’ll crawl back to my too loose in the band 32E and cry for now.

So, short ladies, what is our lesson of today? Certain bras with small bands and large cup sizes make cups that wrap way around your body and try to kill your spirit. Our Polish-Bra-Governesses handle this problem much more successfully than our British-Bra-Governesses.

Let’s rate our betrayer.

Ouch, armpit, ouch. So cruel....

Ouch, armpit, ouch. So cruel….

Appearance of bra itself (10/10)—Cute and sweet. I really do like this kind of yellow, especially because it’s mostly opaque.

Appearance of bra on my body (7/10)—Wrinkles times a thousand on the smaller side, and some on the bigger side. That’s a bad look.

Comfort of…

Straps (7/10)—Slightly far apart, becoming half a traitor in the war against my armpits.

Band (7/10)—Too tight for my body, forcing the underwires even closer to my ribcage, ouch.

Gore (6/10)—Really digging in here.

Underwire (6/10)—Digging in at the sternum and in my armpits.

Cups (6/10)—Fine shaping, but chafe really bad on the armpits. We are getting a theme in this review, right? It’s the Armpit-gate of 2015.

Overall rating, then? The Cleo Marcie in yellow (28FF) gets…

70% – Yeah, that’s pretty accurate. You are passing for your shape, Marcie, but what did my armpits ever do to you? How dare you.


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