This is not my dog, no, but I see her almost as frequently as my beautiful and chubby love, Princess.

You may recall my post about what my dog might wear if she was buying lingerie. I imagine my dog is a strong woman with a lot to her…if she was a human…anyway, let’s talk about the dog I watch several times a week, Ruby. I imagine that Ruby is a very tall, lean fashion model with amazing legs. As she is a greyhound, this seems like it’s accurate.

What’s Ruby like?

Like this. In her bed, usually, with her special eyes always on alert.

Like this. In her bed, usually, with her special eyes always on alert.

She’s…an odd dog. She has a very regal look about her, like she is the favorite dog of a distant queen from a medieval land. But Ruby is a trickster. She is a very foolish dog. She does not understand tricks, for instance, and doesn’t seem to understand what toys are about. She hears a noise from two blocks away and goes completely still, staring into space like she’s having flashbacks of a little-known yet horrific dog war. She is a big starer. She has gigantic eyes and a tail that swings to the left, in a little circle (no side-to-side wagging business). She is also a supremely picky eater with her own food… However, she will always have whatever you’re having.

She is actually not very orange at all, but she looks quite orange in these pictures.

She is actually not very orange at all, but she looks quite orange in these pictures.

So what would Ruby wear?

The stare...

The stare…

I imagine that Ruby would love elegant, detailed pieces. Or I think that because she looks very elegant, as it stands, and I feel that she should have elegant things. She is a grey/brown brindle sort of color, so she’ll wear lots of cool tones and she will definitely wear real pearls. But she is also the only one at the table who stares through you for ten minutes because someone came out of the restaurant’s bathroom and it’s befuddled her.

So let’s get into it.

Avocado: Orlando (H-cut)

Poy-fect colors and snake pattern ughhhhhh.

This is a gorgeous bra. Look at the details! UGH!! It would be just fancy enough to work. I also want this bra, but alas, it is in the dreaded H-cut that hurts me… Regardless, this is definitely a Ruby bra. The iridescent purple is perfect.

Flour of England: Seduction Silk Balcony Bra

Ruby, don’t wear that mask, though.

This is another gorgeous bra. The little detail of the black threads look like flowers. Man, want this bra… Too bad it’s pricey and gore is very wide. BUT FOR RUBY, IT WILL WORK.

Panache Masquerade: Rhea

For Royal Ruby.

This is a bra that screams decadence. It looks royal. It looks like royal people should wear. I want to wear it. Why was Masquerade discontinued? Sob.

(And yes, this seems to also be “Bras I Desire”… Apparently Ruby has the more expensive side of my tastes.)

Panache: Andorra

The whole set, of course!

This is the wallet-friendly thing Ruby would wear, because I associate her with lilac and purple (she has a little purple collar, but I just think lilac would POP better). As Ruby doesn’t play with toys for some odd reason, I have to think more about color schemes and looking like royalty, LOL.

Fortnight: Ivy Longline

It looks like it might actually be a cloud.

Lastly, something for lounging. Of course Ruby lounges. That’s her favorite thing, aside from trying very hard to make me give her my food with her eyeballs. It usually doesn’t work because I’m mostly convinced that when she stares at me, she is seeing the horror of the universe, which is very disconcerting. Regardless!! She would definitely have a Fortnight longline. I think the Ivy would probably be beauteous. I also want it. Sigh.

As we can see, I have projected things I like and decided Ruby would wear them. In any case, if Ruby were human, she would have a huge wardrobe full of very expensive lingerie and robes and, of course, rich people’s dreams.


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