Upcoming… and Lingerie for Romance?

Okay, so I have three Comexims hopefully coming in this very week, and I’m super excited. A fourth is still wandering around somewhere, perhaps shipped, perhaps not, as I have not heard from the seller… Bummer but I’m hoping it shows up soon.

What am I expecting this week?

*Basic in 60HH

*Geisha in 60HH

*Coco in 60H

I sort of thought the Coco might run smaller, but I’ve yet to really know. If it’s wrong, I’ll get a different size. We’ll see. The 60K was uhhh just too big (despite lovely wires), and I feel that the 60J would also be a bit too much. Anyway. I just liked the design… It’s also an unpadded Comexim, and I haven’t seen too many reviews on them. Padded plunges are exceedingly popular, but I’m an unlined sort of lady. I like to let the bits breathe. I often suffer under-boob sweat, especially with weather fluctuations. My titties are basically never happy with the weather – the skin gets so dry in the winter that they itch and can actually get cut by gores, but in the summer, they’re trying to stick to everything. Well, mainly my body. Sigh…

(By the way, I hope you aren’t offended. I love the word ‘titties’. It’s just so fun and festive. ‘Boob’ doesn’t do the job for me, though it’s often better than ‘breast’ (in which I imagine raw chicken or something that does not give me the joy of the word ‘titties’). I just want our bust-experiences to be fun and light-hearted, seeing as society basically makes them seem 3,000% more important than they really are.)

Okay, let’s move onto something I frequently think about.

How does being in a relationship affect your lingerie stock?

Ideally, I think it shouldn’t affect it a great deal. Wear what you love. Wear what is comfortable for you. Wear something that gives you delight when you look at it. That is the primary thing: you are the one wearing lingerie. Be sure it pleases you before you plan on having it be pleasing for someone else. I think this about other things, too, like clothing items. I wear what I like because I enjoy it. If my partner enjoys it, too, shazam! Then I am not only wearing what I like, but I have the added boost that my partner thinks I look slamming in it.

So, let’s move this back to the good old bras. As a culture, we’re all quite obsessed with titties and we care a great deal on what they should be wearing. My partner prefers the shape I get with underwired bras, for instance. I was extremely pleased after finding my first bra that fit (ahhh, the old parrot Lily) and he noticed the change and said I looked nice – it was different and definitely lifted way better than all my padded/moulded 34D’s. Not only was I excited that I could spew out all the new bra knowledge I had studiously memorized, but I was excited that the change was noticeable to someone besides myself. It made me excited that I could have a bra-discerning partner in crime. He is also supremely patient and has listened to my bra woes. I have shown him bras that I was considering, and he has given me pretty good input – like “but can you afford that?”

…Okay, so maybe that’s the only real thing, but still. He thought the Kyoto was just as beautiful as I thought it was, so I feel quite happy that he and I similarly appreciate aesthetics.

But here is something. I love my Fortnight bras. I think they have an androgynous and sophisticated appeal. Sure, I have to do more reviews, since I have like 40 Lunas, a Vega, and a Mira, but let me declare that I am fond of them. My sweetheart, however, is…not as fond. While he knows they’re my “ouch everything hurts I can’t do an underwire bra for this entire week”, and appreciates them for that, they are absolutely not his style. But he is also coming from a place where he loves my boobies and wants them to see the world instead of being crammed closer to my body, which is essentially what all of my Fortnight bras do (cue summer boob-sweat). And I like them for that (not the summer boob-sweat), as they give me a nicer shape under loose shirts than my more projected styles do.

So, do I change what I wear based on that?

No.

But it does mean that if I’m planning a good old romantic time, I won’t wear my Fortnight bras. I think this sort of thing makes sense in general. I might love to wear an appallingly old t-shirt full of holes because it’s become very soft, but I’m not going to wear it to date night. It’s all about context. Even on date night, though, I will only wear things I feel comfortable in and like.

Regardless, there is absolutely nothing wrong with wearing something your partner enjoys. I just want to point out that you should never make yourself feel indebted to your partner. Perhaps he wants you to wear a latex suit that has a chicken head because that’s his thing. Perhaps she’s really into seeing you in crocs that are 4 sizes too large, trying to run up and down stairs as quickly as possible, because that’s her thing. Chances are that your romantic interest (of any gender, or no gender whatsoever) is not going to have either of those special desires, but you get the point: if it’s not in your comfort zone, don’t wear it.

There are some cool things you can possibly learn, however, by trying something you never tried before. Your partner may be interested in harnesses, which I think can be very beautiful (there is an etsy seller I need to try, still, called Sophie Hines – gorgeous little pieces!), and perhaps you learn that you’re actually pretty into harnesses. Maybe it’s something else! As an example, my partner expressed that he was interested in how I would look in a corset. I never had the “excuse”, if you will, and decided I would surprise him (with a very cheap one, mind you, because I’m not very deeply invested in waist-training or what-have-you). This ended up being a nice experience because I learned more about corsets. I might consider one that’s, you know, not cheaply purchased off amazon in the future, but I’m more concerned about having some nice bras right now.

So, overall, what’s my opinion on lingerie + a relationship?

Wear what you like. See what your partner likes. Don’t change everything based on that, but maybe use that in your favor for a romantic evening with them. Above all, be comfortable in what you have on your body, and your partner should be into that!

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